Difficult or just boring?

Since it's the International Women's Day, I thought I'd write something somewhat on topic. Following the discussion about subsidies for household services, it's been argued that the fact that women are the ones doing most of the cleaning and such is natural, since "they are better at it than men". A high-ranking conservative (or "liberal" as they call themselves now) politican got the question why he didn't clean up in the staircase of his building - his answer was that he didn't know how to get it properly clean, whereas a women from a cleaning company knew. He was very happy about her services, and claimed to respect her on the basis of her superior cleaning skills. This is, of course, bullshit.

Unfortunately, it is very common bullshit. How often have (mostly) men said to women "You cook - you're much better at it than me", "I would clean the house, but I'm not as good as you" or "Thank you for cleaning, you're really talented" - or words to that effect?

One way of looking at this is saying that, "Well, of course women are better - it's always women who get to do these things, they've had lots of practice". It is probably true that women are the ones who tend to do these chores. From there one might take one of two routes.

Either you could say that this division of labour is a problem (which I'm inclined to agree with). In particular this is the case since women seem to get stuck in low-status, low-paying jobs. Or perhaps that jobs dominated by women get lowered status and pay (which I am also inclined to agree with).

Or you could argue that people who are good at things should be the ones to do them. And since women, historically, have been good at these things, they should stick to them. The funny thing is that this highly conservative argument is brought forth by people claiming to be liberals. It is of course a very poor argument at that.

So what's the problem here?

I think a big part is how we frame the issue in the first place. These chores are made out to be difficult, demanding a large amount of skill. Arguing against that, one risks getting accused of being disrespectful and demeaning. But are these chores really difficult? To be sure, a lot of "women jobs" are - educating children takes a lot of skill for instance. But is it really a difficult task requiring lots of experience or know-how to raise a child? To clean the house? To do everyday cooking (I'm not talking about culinary marvels at high-end restaurants here)?

I don't think they are. Raising a child takes empathy, patience and so on. But while it is possible to "train" ones empathy and patience - it is not something only found in women. There's nothing, other than cultural and social values, stating that men cannot do these things.

Coming back to "household chores" - cleaning, ironing, washing clothes and so on - these are not difficult either. What they are, are boring chores (at least to most people that I know). So why can't we be honest about these things? We shouldn't say "Oh, you did the dishes - you're so good and competent" or "You clean the house - you're so much better than me at it". Rather we should say "Thank you for taking the time to do these things, I know that there are other things you might have wanted to do instead. Next time I do it.". But of course, if we do it this way it gets more difficult to confine certain people to certain chores or jobs.

See, it is not about these jobs being difficult and demanding a large amount of skill. Let's not kid ourselves. They are boring, and we don't want to do them, can't find time for them in our packed schedule. So we should be grateful that they get done, if we don't do them ourselves. And we should show respect to whoever does them for us - not because of their skill but because they do the things we don't feel like doing. Not that one can always pick and chose what to do for a living, in particular if one comes from, say, a poor or socially stigmatized background, lack social contacts in high places or perhaps most importantly - is a woman.